Friday, June 30, 2006


OMG OMG.... i was channel surfing and on mtv there was this indonesian music video..and i freaking look like the girl.I really think so. Its sooooooooooooooooo uncanny.She looks just as weird as me.haaha. I tried looking for it on youtube but they dont have tht song. Omg. My jaw was open throuhout the music vid.Omg.
Omg. The singer is baim and the song is kau yg terakhir. If u can find the vid tell me pls.

On another note.. ive been msning quite abit these past few days. And i manage to keep in touch with my long far far far far far away and near frens. Its really nice talkg 2 them. It brings up old memories. They havent change much. Michael was online just now..and he is still as lecheh as ever. He still talks crap.Want to teach me how to drink frm a pail.WTH?haha.I remember how last time he would say the most weirdest stuff in his french accent to nadz and me.And the time when he heard us sing the no doubt song. So freaking embarassing. We should have brought them ard spore eh nadiah..and hang out at the staff club wif em.

its nice catching up with my old and dear frens.

yeah and i love fungus amongus now.

A wonderful thurs

Yest i met Miss Nadiah after she finished work. It was real nice to see her after a long while. I cant believe shes flying to the land dwn under in almost a wk's time! I sure am gonna miss her loads.
Shes like my long lost sister that I never had. Sigh..

When we met, we talked nonstop like usual..talked abt everything, talked crap.. had heartfelt conversations, gossiped, and like usual both of us actioning.We love to action. It was fun.
So we first went to Zara to check out the sale. Unfortch there was nothing good to buy, the sale prices was not that great and like some clothes u definitely could get it cheaper at This Fashion. So we made our way to this Fashion near PS.

We went there and picked up tons of clothes to try on. Hahaha the basket tht they provided to carry the clothes wasnt enough. Nadiah mentioned abt using the method the aunties at Sheng Siong use when their basket was full; to put it at one corner and then take another basket.hahahhaaha wth. Anyways We tried like ard 15 articles of clothings each.

The lady at the changing room gave us a pissed face. hahha. So after trying out the clothes i ended up buying 2 tops and a pair of corduroy black capris which is absolutely comfy
and was all at a steal. We spent like more than an hour there. Our stomachs were rumbling so we went to the LJS nearby. We ate and talked and talked. She took a video of me saying the word 'ketara'. Whats wrong with saying 'Ketara'?(ketara is obvious in mly)

Whateverr.. after that I made my way home by train. My Gdness.. it was so freaking packed!.It was like as if it was the rush hour but it wasnt. Its like 10plus. Ppl just came bk frm wrk??Anyways i had to push and shove thru and wearing heels doesnt help. I was so afraid of tripping.

At home I couldnt sleep. Somehow I decided to make a mental list of what i enjoy doing... Dont ask me why I suddenly thought abt making such a list. Coz i really do not know why..

thats all for now..

ps: thanx so much nadiah for that book

Thursday, June 29, 2006

A thought

The holucast.. never again they say.

What is happening in the world today.. Have we not learned anything from it.
Look at what is happening in Sudan now. A repeat of it. Millions of people suffer, starve and stare death in the eye everyday of their seemingly hopeless lives. All these brought about by man. Our own kind.

The statement that the holucast must never be allowed to happen again seems so painstakingly obvious tht it testifies to a grievous irony. People are hard-pressed to learn frm their mistakes,
no matter what the consequences of their former errors.

monuments and melodies

Another new day..

I just wanna say thank you. I grew up and matured alot while with you. I learned alot frm u.
You taught me to be a better person and made me more confident and made me understand that im better than i think i am.

Thank You.

My hands are trembling
And my eyes are on fire
And this house is crumbling
Left brain, left out on the wire

You make me happy
You magnify my better half
YeahYou make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph

My past is perilous
But each scar I bear sings
Monuments to where I have been
And melodies to where I am going,

Yeah When will I see you again?
Still life can only go so far
I need you in front of me
Saying my name
Saying to me, saying to me,saying to me,
"I want you the way you are"

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Tues Blues

Yest was not a good day. bawled and bawled. Sigh.. I guess there are some ok days and some bad days. Crying just zaps all your energy. By nite time i felt so tired.

Anyways 2day Im feeling much better. Been thinking of getting my hair cut or trimmed.Its so longgg.. longer then i have ever kept it.

I think I wana learn how to sew. Ive always loved fashion and art since I was young. Imagine making ur own clothes..that would be just great. So now the problem is finding sum1 to teach me. The courses outside are sooooo expensive.. Hmm maybe they have a self help bk and then i could borrow my aunts sewing machine.

Ok since i dont know wat else to blog abt..i shall babble in Deutsch

In meinem Gehirn herumtreibend, versuche ich, an die andere Sache zu denken.Dann dieser Gedanke, von dem du weisst, dass ich ihn überdenke:Was wäre, wenn das, was ich denke, über wen ich denke dass ich denke der ich war, nichts weiter war als mein Zerebellum beim Sabbern?

Auf Wiedersehen

Monday, June 26, 2006

Harry potters wrld as my own

Ok im rewriting this post so as not to sound "immaturish" sum1 said it sounded.. =p

The patriach brought me around for a round off golf.(hahah tryin to sound like ahem ahem)
Nw..basically my dad brought me to the driving range yest to hit a couple off balls. My arms are still sore frm tht. I must say I have improved alot since the last time..can finally maximise the 8 iron's potential. Haha.

So apart frm golfing, i finally finished Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix. Yeah go on laugh.I dun care I happen to enjoy reading HP. Then i was thinking if i were a character in harry potter i wuld definitely be Cho Chang. Coz shes like in a fragile state coz her bf Cedric just died..
Yeah then my mum wuld be the wise always knowing Albus Dumbledore and my dad would be Minerva McGonagall strict,inflexible but solidly dependable. Yeah and Nadiah would be Luna/Looney Lovegood..hahah..coz shes looney and blunt. The rest of the characters doesnt coincide with anyone else so.. yeah thts all..

So during the holiday i have been reading quite a number of bks. Umm all the bks were lying ard in the house so pardon the variety off it..So Ive been reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy..absolutely fabulous. Then i read the Hobbit. Its really a classic. I read Bleachers by John Grisham. It was ok..not his best wrk tho. I read my bros lit text, Roald Dahl A Selection. I have always loved Roald Dahl his stories are not candy coated. Theres always something dark or mystical abt it. Yeah.. i once read Henry Sugar ovr and ovr again everyday. Haha mad i tell u.
Other then tht i read The unluckiest boy in the wrld by andrew norris. Loved it. Again i must remind u that these bks are lying ard the house so pardon the variety..haha. So nw i went to MPH to buy The Similiron by Tolkein but ended up bying HP and the half bld prince. Yeah so i read my first HP book and got hooked and then bought the Order of the Phoneix.Yeah and i read Ideals and realities of Islam and im absolutely thankful i read it.
Other than that I read the national geographic and the daily papers. My head is full of general knowledge. if u wana know wats happening ard the wrld give me a call. haha.

I guess the nxt book I really wanna read is 1984 by George Orwell. Will go hunt for it soon.

Thts all my ramblings for 2day..

A means to express myself

The pt of starting this is just to keep me sane.Rather then have all these feelings and emotions well up inside.Maybe sum1 will read it and maybe noone will.One things for sure the posts are gonna be full of my raw emotions,that echos how fragile and vulnerable im feeling right now.

Life is nvr gona be the same. I dont think it will be as great and im sure not lookg forward to it.
Sumtimes i wish i could just curl up and disappear. I still havnt come to terms with it. To realise that this is for real. Im still in shock i guess. When i force myself to believe it then my whole body starts to be literally cold and i feel like throwing up. I still check the phone to c if there is any msgs like last time. I wanna msg but i have to force myself not to. Its like the love n feelings in my heart have to be contained; like i have to build a brick wall around it. Its just so evil. If it ended on a sour note maybe i would be able to deal with it. Its just the damned circumstances n situation.

I cant not cry. Even when i try to keep myself occupied there are times when i have flashback of the time we shared tgt. Random things tht i mite not have rembered.Like gg to the library to borrow comics,sendin his frens home... How can sum1 tht is so perfect for u not meant to be with u? sum1 once told me tht u dont necessarily marry the one that u love the most. Isnt tht sad?
What is the pt of marriage then?To procreate?To prevent ppl frm calling u an old hag?To have sum1 in case of need when ur old?